How has your spring cleaning been coming? Are you feeling relief to finally check off those items that have been on your to-do list for too long? Check out our Spring Cleaning event coming up on May 12th!
I bet there’s still one type of clean-up you’ve been avoiding: cleaning up toxic relationships.
In our lives, it is inevitable to develop relationships that do not serve us. Whether it happens over time or we unknowingly entangle our lives with people who have different values, we can find ourselves being a part of a relationship that - just like the clutter we get to clean up - can weigh us down.
Toxic relationships are not always overtly obvious. Sometimes they can look like outright abuse, but other times the weight of their burden is more subtle. Maybe conversations with this person are often pessimistic, they don’t listen or support the things that are important to you, or they are closed-minded to your needs in the relationship. Maybe a toxic relationship is as simple as you not liking how you behave or feel when you’re around a certain person.
Whatever the scenario, these relationships are sapping us of our precious energy. We can go on autopilot and the relationship, including our conversations and interactions together, becomes habit instead of nourishing. We work so hard to declutter our space and minds of all the tasks and chores, but we may not notice how easy it is to keep ourselves stuck when we don’t allow ourselves the space to actively choose and maintain healthy relationships.
Sometimes these relationships are with people we simply feel we ‘can’t walk away from,’ like family members. Those are the most important relationships and circumstances to clean up so we may actively do what we can to change the dynamic of the relationship, or ultimately decide to let go after a full honest effort has been made. Deciding if a person is in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, is fully within your power. There is no more important choice we make than who we choose to interact with regularly, as their energy will certainly impact our own.
April showers bring May powers.
This year, we challenge you to take the opportunity to spring-clean your relationships. Take stock of those who fill your cup and light you up and take time to thank them and nurture those relationships. Conversely, choose to have a conversation with the people in your life that may be adding unnecessary clutter in your heart and mind. Challenge yourself to have a neutral and non-judgmental conversation with this person to clear the air about how you’ve been feeling.
Create a safe space to have an honest conversation with this person and make constructive suggestions about how you two can alter the relationship for the better. Accept responsibility for your part in the breakdown – after all, relationships are a two-way street. If together you are unable to agree upon a way to grow together, then perhaps it’s time to walk away.
Once we choose to first weather a little discomfort, we can then reap the bountiful rewards.
There is no greater tool for altering our reality than who we spend time with. It is when we surround ourselves with people who support us, challenge us, and appreciate us that we are able to grow into the most powerful versions of who we can and wish to be.
To learn more on this topic, listen to one of our Discovery trainers, Chris Lee, speak about toxic relationships on the Lewis Howes' School of Greatness Podcast.